Wise mind is the balance between “reasonable mind” and “emotion mind.” Most of us naturally tend toward one end of that spectrum. For me, I default toward reasonable mind and a less comfortable in emotion mind. When we lean heavily toward either reason or emotion, we are out of balance. And this is natural. We can think of the natural state of our minds as an olive oil and vinegar dressing that has separated. It is our job to metaphorically shake up that bottle so that we bring balance back to our lives.
One practice to access Wise Mind is “Ask Wise Mind.” Here are the steps:
- Get into a comfortable position
- Take some deep breaths
- Think of a difficult question or conundrum
- When you inhale, think of the question
- When you exhale, just listen
- Repeat
Remember to be gentle with yourself and to bring your mind back to the question or to listening when it wanders. Your question may shift in the repeated asking. That is ok. There may be a clear answer, or there may be just a sense of calm and peace.
When we practiced “Ask Wise Mind” in class this week, one person asked Wise Mind, “What should I do more?” The answer he got was, “Clean.” In this case, the answer came quickly. When I tried it, I couldn’t think of a question, so I asked, “What should I ask?” And nothing came to mind during my exhales. My answer was that I did not need to ask anything (at least that was my interpretation).
Another person reported that she had difficulty distinguishing between Wise Mind and her own inner critical voice. In that case, the question can shift to “Is this thought Wise Mind?”
Like working any muscle, improving at recognizing and using Wise Mind will take time and practice. The benefits to mastering Wise Mind are immense. It is the key to accessing the eye of the storm during life’s inevitable struggles.
Source: Linehan, M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets. The Guildford Press.
