A major zeitgeist of modern therapeutic research is that our minds and bodies are more fully connected than previously realized. In a very real way, we process our experiences in our physical bodies.
To understand this, think back to the last time you had a difficult experience. Now place one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest. Feel into the sensations you experienced during that moment, and get curious about where you feel it in your body. After a few deep breaths with this experience, shift your attention to a recent positive experience. Still holding your hands on your chest and your stomach, feel into the physical sensations you experienced in that moment. Your body was processing those events and encoding them into your neural network. These encoded experiences hold such a powerful influence on the way we experience reality, and befriending these neural networks can be an empowering process for experiencing pain without being overtaken by it.
Ladder-up safety; the neural hierarchy
Stephen Porges authored the Polyvagal Theory of our neural network, which highlights that we seem to have three distinctive neural pathways: the ventral vagal system, the sympathetic system, and the dorsal vagal system. If hearing “sympathetic” makes you think about your high-school anatomy explanation of “sympathetic” and “parasympathetic” nervous systems, that’s because our ventral vagal and dorsal vagal systems are the two parts of our parasympathetic nervous system.
Outside of the scientific jargon, why do these neural networks matter? They matter because of how our body processes events. Deb Dana introduces the “ladder-up-safety” way of thinking about our neural network. Our bodies seem to tap into these three neural networks depending on the situation around us. When we are in a ventral vagal state, we feel safe and connected with those around us. We are curious, engaged, and calm. When danger begins to arise, however, our bodies shift into a sympathetic fight or flight. This shows up as anxiety, sensing danger, hyperactivation, etc. It keeps us alive when we are in physical danger, but can create distress when activated outside of those dangerous moments. Lastly, when our bodies sense extreme danger, it activates our freeze or shut-down response. Often this is accompanied with a sense of powerlessness to fight off whatever the perceived threat may be.
Befriending the Nervous System
For many, this may not be entirely new information. We’ve often heard the phrases “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn” in our classes, so what really is so groundbreaking about this? I would ask, however, how often do we feel into or befriend these different physical states within ourselves? We get activated into these states without need for our conscious awareness, so we often move mindlessly from one rung on the ladder to the next. This can cause us to feel like we are fighting our bodies, or can cause us to become engulfed by the activation of our different states. Befriending our nervous system is the practice of being with our body’s experience, rather than being overtaken by it. We can get curious about how our body reacts in these different states, and practice mindful listening to our physiological responses.
One way to do this is simply to take time reflecting on how these three states show up for you. What types of situations, places, people, etc. bring you into each of these three states? What do you tend to feel in your body when you are brought to one of these states? What thoughts go through your mind, or what do you tend to want to do while in each of these states? Practice especially envisioning yourself moving through these states.
Initially, it is best to anchor in your ventral vagal-safe and social-state by envisioning the things that help you feel connected and secure. Find what cues of safety help bring you to this stable location. These cues may be a person, a phrase, an object, or an image? When you feel like you have deeply connected with these cues of safety, either physically or mentally, practice bringing up images or thoughts that may bring you into your sympathetic-fight or flight- state. Notice what your body does in this moment, and practice mindful observing of your physiological state. Again, the goal here is to be with your body as a mindful observer rather than being overwhelmed by your body. If it feels intense, bring yourself back to your anchor in safety.
Once you feel you are able to practice moving between your ventral and sympathetic nervous systems (which may mean several sessions of practicing this), do the same exercise with your dorsal vagal-shutdown and collapse-state. Remember to always come back to your safe place with your sympathetic nervous system. Over time, you will be able to learn how to attend to your own body’s cues, to view your reactions with compassionate understanding, and to ground in safety as you find your way back to your safe and social space.
Further Reading
These concepts were largely gathered from Deb Dana’s works. See below for recommended books and materials by her:
Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client-centered practices
A therapist can also be a great support when learning to befriend and work with your nervous system. Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with a therapist today: 1-801-687-9509
